January 2013

It’s All Frosting…

Many of you read about the Wenz family Christmas tree fiasco in last month’s newsletter. The happy ending is that we were able to borrow a more stable Christmas tree stand, trim a few more branches from our front-heavy tree, and it turned into one of our best Christmas trees ever! Even our boys agreed it was a nice tree, despite the traumatic beginning.

The Christmas tree crash-and-burn actually served to remind us of that what really matters about Christmas is completely safe and secure and no amount of shattered glass ornaments or shattered expectations can touch that.

Jesus did come to us as a baby. He does understand our weakness and our humanness. He did grow to be a man and willingly give His life for us on the cross. So it’s really true. Christmas lights, trees, ornaments, gifts, parties, celebrations, outings, meals… it’s all frosting when compared with what really matters about Christmas.

Started as “Just” a Camp

For several years after REACH was founded, we viewed our ministry as mainly a camp. We called it NW REACH Camp, and it brought together families who shared the experience of raising a child with HIV/AIDS. Anything else we accomplished during the year was “frosting.” When you observed all that God was able to do through a 4-day camp, it was almost enough to carry you through the year, reflecting on last camp and preparing for the next one.

God was knitting together the wounded hearts of moms, dads, and children through the experience of a typical summer camp in the woods.

In that sacred, dusty place families moved from isolation into community and experienced the grace and unconditional love of God through the people who befriended them in His name – their fellow REACH families as well as staff and volunteers. Many children and families equated the emotions of REACH camp with those feelings kids get at Christmas- a time when all is well with the world.

Shift Toward Mentoring

Until I came on full-time in 2001, REACH only employed two staff members – an Executive Director and an Administrative Assistant. Camp interns would come on for the summer months specifically to prepare for camp. It was a new experience having a program staff member aboard year-round, so we asked ourselves: What should we do? What programs should we start? Wisely, REACH Board members and advisors concluded that the families would benefit most if we launched a REACH Mentoring Program.

We had observed at camp each year that the relationship between a camper and a counselor was truly what made camp amazing. The kids got to have a “cool” older person focused completely on them – playing, running around, eating meals, singing at campfire, etc.

What an exciting thought it was – to take this camp counselor experience that they already love four days each year, and take it into the daily routines of life in the form of a REACH mentor. This special mentor could show up at their band concert or their basketball game. They could choose a movie and go see it together. They might go out for ice cream to celebrate a birthday or walk along a beach collecting shells. The possibilities were endless when you began to imagine this special friend making an entrance into the child’s daily life.

Of course, daily life also encompasses difficult realities that camp is able to chase from mind – bullies at school, confusing homework, strife with parents or siblings, low self-esteem, or many other challenges which are profound for children as they develop.

These are the places where a mentor is invaluable – building up the child with words of affirmation. You are creative. God made you with such a compassionate heart. You are a hero. I like the way your mind can tackle any problem that comes your way. Friends are drawn to you. These are words of life for a child navigating the complexities of the growing-up years.

While camp allows you to let go of “regular life” for four days and being a carefree camper, the Mentoring Program brings a caring role model to you in real life – the good and the bad, the easy and the difficult, the up days and the down days.

My 15 Years With a Mentor

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that God would ask me to launch a mentoring program, since I have had a consistent mentor in my life since 1998. As a sophomore in college, I signed up to receive a mentor through the campus ministry I was involved with at the University of Puget Sound. It was the closest thing to a blind date I had ever experienced. If I’m being honest, I was unsure about the idea based on my first impression. Judy was older than I expected. Rather than being one or two steps ahead of me in life, she was 3 full stages ahead of me – married, a parent, and a grandparent.

Thankfully, I stuck with it through the awkward getting-to-know-you stage, and I now consider Judy one of God’s greatest gifts to me. I quiver to think I might have missed out on this blessing based on a premature snap judgment. When I made questionable choices, she continued to believe in me, and showered me with grace and strong words of truth. When I had challenges in my life that she recognized were beyond her ability as a mentor-friend, she found someone else for me to talk to. When I was fearful of major commitments like job or marriage, she spoke words of life and wisdom and clarity. When I had challenges with family members, I could talk freely to her – a “safe” person outside of our circle, who would not be wounded or personally impacted by the feelings I needed to vent.

I could go on and on about Judy’s legacy in my life, considering the amount of memories 15 years can hold. But if I had to sum up how Judy has impacted me, this is what I would say: She has demonstrated God’s unconditional love and grace to me over a pivotal season of my life. So many times when I knew I didn’t deserve it, she was able to smile, speak sincerely, rest her hand on mine, give me just the right scripture, and pray fervently. She helped me believe God loved me. She helps me with that even to this day.

A Few Stories

Here are a few examples of real-life relationships from the REACH Mentoring Program for 2012:

• One of our REACH kids received an extremely grim diagnosis this summer. The child’s mentor not only visited her in the hospital, and took her to lunch when she was feeling up to it, but organized a 12-piece brass band to come boisterously “serenade” her at her home over Christmas, bringing much joy.
• One of our young adults, with the kindness, wisdom, and encouragement of his mentor, achieved his goal of getting a part-time job, which turned from seasonal work into long-term work because of his performance. This is cause to rejoice!
• A former REACH mom came to us desiring to “give back” to the ministry she had been served by. She became a mentor in 2008 and has been able to offer prayer, perspective, grace, and encouragement to a newer REACH mom in the midst of her trials.
• One REACH boy desires to find a church home – a goal not shared by his family. His mentor, who is also new to the area, has an exciting opportunity to explore churches with him.
• One REACH mentor watched her mentee spread her wings and transition successfully to college life this year. This is especially exciting considering she has been mentoring this young adult since she was 9 years old.

Having seen the depth of relationship that can happen through the REACH Mentoring Program, we no longer view REACH as a solely camp, with anything else we accomplish being “frosting.” The Mentoring Program builds on the love, hope and courage that is sparked at REACH Camp, and has become essential to who we are and what we want to be about – creating healthy, positive, long-term relationships to benefit children and young adults who have been handed a heavy burden to carry.

Because of You…

I love being able to share more in-depth about the REACH Mentoring Program with you, our donors, because you are the ones that make this ministry possible month by month with your prayers and generous donations. Daily we are aware that you are the reason we are freed up to serve and bless these families. Thank you for your faithful giving and believing in what God is doing through REACH.

Pam Wenz
Director of Mentoring