The Waller Family and HIV

We are a mixed-race family; one child is HIV-positive. Initially, we did not want to adopt an HIV-positive child, but when we met him, we fell in love. An amazing Infectious Disease doctor at Seattle Children’s helped us understand what we were getting into. She was so clear; the hardest thing about HIV would not be medical, it was going to be the stigma.

Once our child was in our family, we chose to inform the principal at school for emergency purposes, even though legally we weren’t required to. The principal immediately called a meeting with the nurse, counselor, multiple teachers, and the district superintendent. Without our permission, he disclosed our son’s health status, crossing a legal boundary. He said his main goal was the safety of the school. He did not express concern for our child.

Our church pastor warned us to inform him if we were going to have our son in Sunday school because it might hurt attendance. It hurt so much to be treated this way at the church we had loved for 10 years. They didn’t even care enough to learn the facts that our child was not a threat. We made the painful choice to switch schools and churches to get a fresh start.

The same doctor at Seattle Children’s encouraged us to try REACH. But, having a newly formed large family… we were in survival mode. It seemed that adding one more activity, like REACH camp, would sink us. Or so we thought. Little did we know that the REACH community is exactly what we needed to help us survive the emotional and physical roller coaster of raising a child with HIV in our large mixed-race adoptive family. We didn’t know we could have authenticity to the level REACH provides.

Watch for part 2 of this story coming soon…