December 2013

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For to us a child is born, to us a son is given, and the government will be on his shoulders.
And he will be called Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Everlasting Father, Prince of Peace. Isaiah 9:6

Pat Askren has been a guiding force behind keeping REACH going for the last year as Interim Director, and we’re so thankful for her quiet leadership, hard work, and dedication. It has been a year of moving forward and growing as a team, reevaluating our heart and where our passion lies, as well as seeking someone to fill the Executive Director position. It wasn’t a decision made lightly, and we are so grateful for each of your prayers for us during this time.

With that in mind, we are excited to welcome DAN STOEHR as REACH’s new EXECUTIVE DIRECTOR!

The first question we asked Dan when he sat down for his first interview was: “Now, we’ve been debating it for a while, but how exactly do you say your last name?” “Oh sure, it’s pronounced like stair/stare…” After a chorus of “ohhhhs” and “interestings,” followed by a couple of mispronunciation stories and laughter, we knew this guy was something good.

Apparently God agreed, because it was made abundantly clear to the staff/Board after multiple interviews that Dan was the man intended to be the next REACH Executive Director.

Originally from Pennsylvania, Dan and his family (wife, son and daughter) moved throughout the US while he was a pilot in the Air Force until they were stationed in Washington in the late ‘90s. Dan retired from the Air Force when he felt drawn to begin working with his local church followed by a position in development for two Lutheran schools. Dan has a life- long passion to mentor and offer hope to young people who are being held back or face discrimination because of circumstances beyond their control. His heart for youth and families is also one of the reasons he was drawn to REACH.

We think he’s a pretty great guy, and hope that you all get a chance to get to know him! (Take him up on the offer for coffee!) But enough ABOUT him, let’s hear FROM him. Here are a few of his thoughts one month in:

Christmas Came Early This Year: Observations From the New Guy

That’s a funny title coming from the guy who cringes when I see or hear the word “Christmas” before Thanksgiving … and don’t even think about playing Christmas music before then! I’ve been “on the job” here at REACH since late October. From day one I’ve experienced the joy that we often associate with Christmas … so many great people with huge hearts and serving with devotion. I am inspired. The staff vigorously embraced my challenge to fill my schedule with meeting REACH families, young adults, mentors, volunteers, donors, and supporting churches.

For now, I get to ask all the new guy questions: “What has REACH been, and what are we now? What is the key thing about REACH? Why are you involved?”

When I ask the question: “What’s the impact we’re having?” people come alive. One example is from my conversation with a remarkable young woman who started with REACH as a toddler. When I asked her what life might be like if she never had REACH, she physically shuddered and blurted out, “I’d be a mess, I’d be completely lost!”

For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” Jeremiah 29:11

What I continued to hear was story after story of true love, hope, and guidance shared by REACH families, mentors, staff, doctors, and volunteers.

Based on all of these conversations, I have discovered recurring themes:

  • REACH is completely and authentically about LASTING RELATIONSHIPS, “family reunion,” and treasured friends.
  • REACH offers UNCONDITIONAL ACCEPTANCE and a sense of worth in the face of isolation, rejection, and stigma … one person said, “Misfits in their environment fit at REACH.”
  • REACH is LIFE SHAPING AND LIFE CHANGING, offering promise, potential, direction, and courage.
  • REACH is SAFE, offering trust, consistency, support, and stability.

When I ask, “What’s your vision for REACH’s future?” I’ve heard:

  • A passion for our KIDS as they TRANSITION TO ADULTHOOD – walking alongside and coaching, modeling healthy ways to live.
  • A desire to CONNECT WITH 13 TO 20-SOMETHINGS who aren’t already part of the REACH family – “they need us.”
  • A need for more EDUCATION to Churches regarding the current realities of HIV, and removing stigma. – For families, education for young adults, and adoptive parents, regarding how to disclose, and coping skills.

That’s a lot for the first month! One thing is clear: our external environment has changed dramatically since REACH’s first camp in 1997. The birth rate of HIV+ babies in America is now nearly zero, yet more American families are adopting HIV+ children from overseas … in all cases, the disease is no longer a death sentence for children. The first group of children to survive the disease are now young adults, and although treatable, the number of new cases of HIV in America continues to grow dramatically, especially among teens and young adults. So what does that mean for the future of REACH? Based on all my observations so far, we clearly have much, much more to do. This month, the board, staff, and volunteers began a process to revisit our core values, mission, vision, and strategies. We’ll engage in this work vigorously, seeking clarity within 2-3 months, and share it all with you, to solicit your feedback and input every step of the way. Look for more in the New Year.

I’d love to hear from you! Call, write, or let’s have a cup of coffee together (my treat).

Sincerely,

Dan Stoehr, Executive Director

All of us at REACH hope that you have a Merry Christmas & Happy New Year!

October 2013

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Sometimes there are experiences that you want to share with others. REACH Camp is one of those.

This was our 17th Camp during Labor Day weekend and once again, “It was the best camp ever!” We want to share with you a few of our favorite moments:

From Erica: Picture a group of 12 year old girls, chattering excitedly about the weekend… in fake British accents… with adopted camp names like “Queen Victoria, Queen Liz, and Queen Beth,” sometimes dissolving into giggles, at other times, the perfect noblewomen. Then picture 12 pounds of color powder combined with a dancing party, color erupting from every side, laughter and awesomeness abounding. Round those two pictures out with stepping into the worship service on Sunday to hear five campers under the age of 18 and one volunteer bringing me to tears with their music and love of the Creator of All. Beautiful.

From Pam: During parent group, three young adult campers sat in a row facing expectant faces, ready to answer questions about growing up HIV-positive. Thirty parents lean in, not wanting to miss a word, knowing that they are about to hear stories of a hard journey that these three have travelled. Experts on what it’s like growing up with HIV, the campers aged 23, 26 and 32 helped prepare parents raising their own children who are HIV positive. One tearful parent thanked the panel from the bottom of her heart for coming back to camp year after year, despite not being typical camper age any more. She wanted them to know the value that they bring to the community of REACH and the role models they are for the younger children.

From Pat: A mom, who has taken care of so many special needs kids over these seventeen years that we’ve known her, comes over to me with a huge smile. She isn’t able to stay for all of camp, but she’s been able to spend the afternoon under the shade of a tall tree, where she ends up every year that I’ve been coming. It’s a safe and comfortable spot for conversations between parents who watch where their children are playing while they engage and relax at the same time. I smile at that picture that never changes from year to year. While we talk, a little girl rushes up, delivers a huge hug around my knees and takes off running again. Sweet.

What is this place called REACH camp? It is welcoming, it is safe, it is home for each participant. It’s a place for fun, for sharing the tears, and reminiscing what came before. It’s a place of hope and a place of acceptance. It’s made up of volunteers and kids and their families, and happens because so many of you believe in REACH.

Thank you for your generosity and your prayers from all of us: Erica Swenson, Pam Wenz, and Pat Askren.

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The Children of REACH trust you

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Dear Friends and Family,

When REACH held its first camp in 1995, HIV-infected children were not expected to live past eight or ten years of age. Not only were the children born with a predicted death sentence, they were judged by a society that feared and rejected them, causing hopelessness for their present as well as their future.

For over 16 years, REACH has provided respite for families of HIV-affected children
with vital year-round programming. Each Labor Day, we gather together for a highly anticipated time known to all simply as ‘Camp.’ The environment at camp is judgment free. It is a place where families can trust each other in a relaxed and fun setting, while sharing their experiences and stories. Camp is where relationships are formed, and the rest of the year, those relationships are sustained by regular contact at family gatherings, activities, and a spring retreat. Most importantly, mentoring provides a consistent message of hope for our kids and families.

This is what camp was like for Julia, now one of our young adults, who joined REACH when she was five years old:

“I remember shoulder rides because I had a hard time walking and so the counselors, like Shadrak and Omar helped me. They would pick me up, put me on their shoulders, and run around all over the place. It was such fun, because most of the kids were doing it… it wasn’t just me. It was really scary being up so high, I trusted that person so much… I was just having fun.”

When I started at REACH I was just a kid, and didn’t realize how great it was to have that trust. I grew up in foster care because of neglect and my role models came
from people at camp. There was love and support and encouragement; maybe you would say it was a glimpse of heaven. Today it is still like that. The staff, mentors and friends at REACH have given me strong role models that help me envision my future. REACH has been there for me, all these years.”

Julia’s story is one of hope and encouragement, with a vision of a future that is grounded in the relationships built at REACH. For some of our children, REACH is the only consistent relationship they have known; Camp is the one thing they can count on year after year.

Many of you have been consistent in your partnership with REACH through giving of your time and financial resources
and we thank you. We depend on our monthly donors to sustain the ministry. If you are not already giving, will you please consider a gift to support programs for our children and their families of at least $1.00 a day, in a monthly gift of $30, $50 or $100? If you are already giving, will you increase your gift? If your gift has lapsed, will you please reinstate your gift?

Camp is just around the corner, representing our greatest expense each year. The cost for one child to attend camp: $400. Registration fees for a family of four: $120. One activity: Horseback Ride, Climbing Tower or High Ropes Course for each child: $20. The memories for that child: priceless! Enclosed you will find a donor envelope for your gift, which is fully tax deductible. Donate at our website: www.reachministries.org or contact us for assistance. Thank you, from all of us in the extended family of REACH; we are blessed by your generosity and your prayers.

June 2013

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You know the saying “No news is good news”? You haven’t heard from us for a little while, but “all’s well” at REACH. We have been busy doing what we do best – relationships. Please read on, because the news to report is exciting. You helped us achieve a goal and provide a gift to our families this past March. And we thank you for your support!

Painting a Picture

You are a parent with kids who carry a life-threatening disease. It’s called HIV. It’s a part of your family, every day, there’s no vacation from it. You must be careful who you tell about your child’s status, maybe even your own HIV status, and that makes it difficult to make friends, real friends. Your adopted kids are having trouble at school. One comes home crying because the other kids don’t understand; they just know your child is different. Your child is acting out – a tough kid, he refuses to take his medication. Someone just asked you, “When was the last time you had a weekend away?”

You think of going somewhere you can really relax, let your kids run and play. You’d like to talk with other adults who know where you are and let go of some of the things that really hurt. You think of a weekend when you know all your meals are ready for you. You don’t have to cook, clean, do laundry or even mow the lawn. You can cry if you need to because someone is there to listen. You can be sure you are going to laugh. And you know that your heart will be full before the weekend is over, one way or another.

That’s REACH Camp.

You’ve looked forward to camp each year, maybe all sixteen years, and your whole family loves it almost as much as Christmas. If only there was another weekend to get together, to enjoy the same kind of respite.

“IF ONLY” BECAME A REALITY

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This spring marked a new adventure for REACH families. Your generous gifts enabled us to realize a goal: the First Annual Family Retreat! It was a special and intimate three-day getaway blessed by the community created by 60 family members and volunteers.

It was relaxing, low key, and fun; a time to deepen relationships and reconnect with family. Family that only gets together once or twice a year, is separated by miles, ages, income, and faith, but family nonetheless.

In our December and January newsletters, we talked about the concept of “Coming Home,” and what that means. It sparked such a tender chord in our hearts that we used it as the Retreat theme. It’s a phrase that’s commonly heard surrounding camp arrival and departure, but we wanted to reinforce the reality that each one of our family members, volunteers, donors, and supporters holds the key to REACH and is always welcome.

At registration, we heard family after family comment on the fact that just driving through the gate filled them with a sense of hope and joy.
We have been blessed with an amazing location for both Camp and the Retreat, but what creates this feeling isn’t the cabins, or food, or even the activities, it’s the people who share this sacred time with one another. One mom shared that “there is no other place we go as a family, including our own church, where the love of God is so evident.”

GOD WAS PRESENT

We gathered in the Prayer Chapel Sunday morning, with the message of how much God loves us – just as we are. A young man was moved by the love he felt that weekend, recognizing that, “All of you have Jesus in your life and I don’t….” and later, surrounded in prayer, he asked Jesus to be Lord and Savior of his life!

LIVING IN RELATIONSHIPS

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The opportunity to get together is particularly important for those who have grown up trusting REACH.

On Saturday, older teens and young adults talked honestly about living HIV+ with a pediatric doctor who treated some of them since birth. As the discussion continued, the doctor said to one young woman, “I know you are a miracle.” This young woman, as a kid, pretended she was taking her medication and would throw them in the bushes as she went to school. She couldn’t see the affects the meds had, but as her immune system weakened, tests confirmed: she should not have survived. This doctor represents someone who cares and is invested in the lives of our REACH families.

Each person who is a part of REACH is affected by HIV, whether that’s personally, or through their child, sibling, boyfriend, or parent.

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Those who live with a chronic disease know what it means, but the majority of us can’t understand the depth of daily meds, questions of the future, or fear of relationships these families undergo.

It’s that fear and isolation that REACH strives to resolve. God did not create us to live our lives in fear nor to live it alone. Just like it was not good for Adam to be alone, so we are created for community.

As the Retreat closed on Sunday, we reflected on the volunteer who patiently made sure a young man in a wheelchair got to every event, or the Christian family of eleven who reached out to three young men longing for family and godly relationships, and the woman who dialogued with a young adult about his beliefs and through prayer and God’s mighty hand, we rejoice that he is now a brother in Christ. These interactions are why we are here: to show love to one another.

WE WERE NOT MEANT TO BE ALONE

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We pray that as you are reading this, you would hear God reminding you of the community He has placed in your life and know that you are part of the important relationships going on at REACH.

We don’t always get to see those of you who support our ministry financially or through prayer, but you play an important role in the lives of our families. Know that we cannot do this without you and your gifts offer both a temporary and eternal gift in the lives of so many. If you aren’t already giving, or if your gift has lapsed, please go to our secure website at www.reachministries.org and select “give financially” to follow the link. We appreciate you so much.

WE NEED YOU

We have started preparations for Camp, which means we are specifically looking for:

Prayer Warriors
Counselors to spend quality time with our kids
Your financial gifts
Office Volunteers
Transportation Coordinator

Until our next letter will you prayerfully consider what you will give to REACH camp?

PLEASE JOIN US

Coming to camp is a life-changing experience, no matter what God calls you to do. You might think you need special skills to help out at camp. You only need one: the readiness to follow what God has for you to do. And you can count on one thing: CHANGE. Relationships always change us; they shape and mold us in so many ways. Come on over, you’ll see what we’re talking about!

We look forward to hearing from you!

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The REACH team: Pat, Erica, Pam

January 2013

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It’s All Frosting…

Many of you read about the Wenz family Christmas tree fiasco in last month’s newsletter. The happy ending is that we were able to borrow a more stable Christmas tree stand, trim a few more branches from our front-heavy tree, and it turned into one of our best Christmas trees ever! Even our boys agreed it was a nice tree, despite the traumatic beginning.

The Christmas tree crash-and-burn actually served to remind us of that what really matters about Christmas is completely safe and secure and no amount of shattered glass ornaments or shattered expectations can touch that.

Jesus did come to us as a baby. He does understand our weakness and our humanness. He did grow to be a man and willingly give His life for us on the cross. So it’s really true. Christmas lights, trees, ornaments, gifts, parties, celebrations, outings, meals… it’s all frosting when compared with what really matters about Christmas.

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Started as “Just” a Camp

For several years after REACH was founded, we viewed our ministry as mainly a camp. We called it NW REACH Camp, and it brought together families who shared the experience of raising a child with HIV/AIDS. Anything else we accomplished during the year was “frosting.” When you observed all that God was able to do through a 4-day camp, it was almost enough to carry you through the year, reflecting on last camp and preparing for the next one.

God was knitting together the wounded hearts of moms, dads, and children through the experience of a typical summer camp in the woods.

In that sacred, dusty place families moved from isolation into community and experienced the grace and unconditional love of God through the people who befriended them in His name – their fellow REACH families as well as staff and volunteers. Many children and families equated the emotions of REACH camp with those feelings kids get at Christmas- a time when all is well with the world.

Shift Toward Mentoring

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Until I came on full-time in 2001, REACH only employed two staff members – an Executive Director and an Administrative Assistant. Camp interns would come on for the summer months specifically to prepare for camp. It was a new experience having a program staff member aboard year-round, so we asked ourselves: What should we do? What programs should we start? Wisely, REACH Board members and advisors concluded that the families would benefit most if we launched a REACH Mentoring Program.

We had observed at camp each year that the relationship between a camper and a counselor was truly what made camp amazing. The kids got to have a “cool” older person focused completely on them – playing, running around, eating meals, singing at campfire, etc.

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What an exciting thought it was – to take this camp counselor experience that they already love four days each year, and take it into the daily routines of life in the form of a REACH mentor. This special mentor could show up at their band concert or their basketball game. They could choose a movie and go see it together. They might go out for ice cream to celebrate a birthday or walk along a beach collecting shells. The possibilities were endless when you began to imagine this special friend making an entrance into the child’s daily life.

Of course, daily life also encompasses difficult realities that camp is able to chase from mind – bullies at school, confusing homework, strife with parents or siblings, low self-esteem, or many other challenges which are profound for children as they develop.

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These are the places where a mentor is invaluable – building up the child with words of affirmation. You are creative. God made you with such a compassionate heart. You are a hero. I like the way your mind can tackle any problem that comes your way. Friends are drawn to you. These are words of life for a child navigating the complexities of the growing-up years.

While camp allows you to let go of “regular life” for four days and being a carefree camper, the Mentoring Program brings a caring role model to you in real life – the good and the bad, the easy and the difficult, the up days and the down days.

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My 15 Years With a Mentor

I guess I shouldn’t have been surprised that God would ask me to launch a mentoring program, since I have had a consistent mentor in my life since 1998. As a sophomore in college, I signed up to receive a mentor through the campus ministry I was involved with at the University of Puget Sound. It was the closest thing to a blind date I had ever experienced. If I’m being honest, I was unsure about the idea based on my first impression. Judy was older than I expected. Rather than being one or two steps ahead of me in life, she was 3 full stages ahead of me – married, a parent, and a grandparent.

Thankfully, I stuck with it through the awkward getting-to-know-you stage, and I now consider Judy one of God’s greatest gifts to me. I quiver to think I might have missed out on this blessing based on a premature snap judgment. When I made questionable choices, she continued to believe in me, and showered me with grace and strong words of truth. When I had challenges in my life that she recognized were beyond her ability as a mentor-friend, she found someone else for me to talk to. When I was fearful of major commitments like job or marriage, she spoke words of life and wisdom and clarity. When I had challenges with family members, I could talk freely to her – a “safe” person outside of our circle, who would not be wounded or personally impacted by the feelings I needed to vent.

I could go on and on about Judy’s legacy in my life, considering the amount of memories 15 years can hold. But if I had to sum up how Judy has impacted me, this is what I would say: She has demonstrated God’s unconditional love and grace to me over a pivotal season of my life. So many times when I knew I didn’t deserve it, she was able to smile, speak sincerely, rest her hand on mine, give me just the right scripture, and pray fervently. She helped me believe God loved me. She helps me with that even to this day.

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A Few Stories

Here are a few examples of real-life relationships from the REACH Mentoring Program for 2012:

  • One of our REACH kids received an extremely grim diagnosis this summer. The child’s mentor not only visited her in the hospital, and took her to lunch when she was feeling up to it, but organized a 12-piece brass band to come boisterously “serenade” her at her home over Christmas, bringing much joy.
  • One of our young adults, with the kindness, wisdom, and encouragement of his mentor, achieved his goal of getting a part-time job, which turned from seasonal work into long-term work because of his performance. This is cause to rejoice!
  • A former REACH mom came to us desiring to “give back” to the ministry she had been served by. She became a mentor in 2008 and has been able to offer prayer, perspective, grace, and encouragement to a newer REACH mom in the midst of her trials.
  • One REACH boy desires to find a church home – a goal not shared by his family. His mentor, who is also new to the area, has an exciting opportunity to explore churches with him.
  • One REACH mentor watched her mentee spread her wings and transition successfully to college life this year. This is especially exciting considering she has been mentoring this young adult since she was 9 years old.

Having seen the depth of relationship that can happen through the REACH Mentoring Program, we no longer view REACH as a solely camp, with anything else we accomplish being “frosting.” The Mentoring Program builds on the love, hope and courage that is sparked at REACH Camp, and has become essential to who we are and what we want to be about – creating healthy, positive, long-term relationships to benefit children and young adults who have been handed a heavy burden to carry.

Because of You…

I love being able to share more in-depth about the REACH Mentoring Program with you, our donors, because you are the ones that make this ministry possible month by month with your prayers and generous donations. Daily we are aware that you are the reason we are freed up to serve and bless these families. Thank you for your faithful giving and believing in what God is doing through REACH.

Pam Wenz
Director of Mentoring

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