People with HIV deserve protection too
Recently, a REACH lifetime survivor had an “aha moment” about what protection can really mean for someone living with HIV. “Leanna” knew from a young age that she was HIV-positive and as she entered her teen years, she deeply internalized the frequent advice from adults that she needed to take steps to protect those around her from contracting HIV.
“I knew we needed to prevent STDs and have safe sex, but at that time I didn’t think of it as much as protecting me. I always thought I was the problem, the ‘dirty person’ or the infected person; therefore, I was protecting others. I never thought about it as vice versa, like, ‘I need that protection too.’”
After graduating high school, Leanna began to reflect on her health and her self-worth and realized that she wanted to flip the script. “I was in my 20’s when I started thinking, ‘Wait a minute! I’m undetectable. I do everything I need to do to stay healthy. I have to see myself as this person that needs to be cared for in terms of practicing safe sex because I do everything already [to stay healthy].’ For the longest time when I thought of STD prevention and protection, it was never protecting me, it was protecting other people. And that wasn’t very fair to myself. It really took a while for me to develop that sense of awareness, ‘Why am I thinking that way?’ It was this weird shift in my mind, where I was like, wait a minute. I deserve this actually!”
With joy, Leanna described the burst of confidence and self-love that welled up inside her when she made the discovery that she deserves to be protected from any infection someone might bring her way, including a different strain of HIV! She deserves to ask tough questions to a future partner. She made a commitment to herself to request an STD test from any future partner and set up a boundary of monogamy.
After sharing this enlightenment with REACH staff, she suggested that we talk about this at an upcoming Lifetime Survivor group, which we did. The faces on the Zoom as Leanna described her new perspective on protection spoke louder than their words. It was like everyone sat up a little taller, realizing they deserved to be protected too. And as people whose virus is undetectable, they are no risk to others, but others could certainly be a risk to them.
Thank you, Leanna, for sharing your lifechanging realization with your friends in the group and with REACH staff. We love learning from you, and it makes a huge difference.
“Allison’s” safest place is REACH
As a teen with complex special needs, “Allison” (name changed for confidentiality) has not had an easy life. She and her HIV-positive mom, “Keira,” and her caregiver grandmother, “Dee,” connected with REACH immediately after moving here from another state in early 2024. They attended both Spring and Labor Day Getaways together. The grandmother exclaims about how valuable these experiences are for Allison and Keira.
For Allison, the activities get her outside in the fresh air, exercising her unstable legs, and surrounded by people who love to chat with her and enjoy her teasing sense of humor with no stigma or judgment about her disabilities.
When we first met Keira she told us “I need to make friends with HIV!” and in almost every support group (online or in person) she shares the story of the traumatic circumstances surrounding her HIV diagnosis years ago. She can be talkative, but the participants are gracious and kind. They know the value of listening to her experience and offering care. Keira comments often about how much people at REACH smile.
Dee delights in seeing her daughter and granddaughter engaged in such healthy and supportive activities and admits that she too gets a lot out of the themed breakout sessions, as fulltime caregiving is not easy.
At Labor Day Getaway Allison felt so safe and comfortable that she decided to perform a song, something she had never had the opportunity to do before. It was a spontaneous decision during the “talent” portion of campfire and her grandmother immediately grabbed her phone to record this novel event saying, “I can’t believe she’s doing this! I don’t know who she is. I’m so shocked at how outgoing she’s being. She comes to REACH and just comes alive.”
Many around the fire sang along to the classic love song, swaying and waving their phone flashlights back and forth like they were at a concert. While the performance would be unlikely to win an award… Allison felt like a superstar as she tiptoed back to her seat amid boisterous cheers and applause.
Labor Day Getaway Creates Family
Despite being brand new to Labor Day Getaway, “Asha” had banked several experiences with REACH over the last year. She first met us at our Thanksgiving celebration in Tacoma, despite her drive being much longer than the event itself! Later that month she joined a wreath-making connection event that REACH hosted at her case management site. Three of the participants that day joined REACH staff for lunch afterwards and Asha was the life of that party, talking about all the foods she loves from her home country, cracking jokes, and playfully teasing her new friends. Throughout the following months she joined many ladies zoom chats and positive adults support groups. She naturally took the role of caregiver within each group, often starting comments to fellow participants with the phrase, “Josephine, my dear…” or “Martha, my dear…” offering encouragement and support.
This summer Asha made sure to request the necessary days off of work to attend Labor Day Getaway. She bonded immediately with another first-time participant, and they trekked to the pool every day for a refreshing swim and enjoyed attending the groups and breakouts together. She loved dancing at the “Boogie Woogie Round-up” Sunday evening, and learning the silly campfire songs. When she was called on to demonstrate a dance move at campfire, she laughed heartily while showing off her move. After all this joy and enthusiasm it caught us by surprise when she took the mic during the closing campfire on our final night and began to weep. She choked out her grief, saying, “I haven’t seen my babies in two years!” Then, “Because of REACH I now have family in America. I have never felt so loved by people I never met.”
For most of the year with us, Asha effectively hid the anguish of leaving her young adult children back home as she seeks asylum in the U.S… but in the safety of a REACH getaway, she let down her guard. No doubt she will continue to be the nurturer at group, but she also understands that she can safely be vulnerable and continue to be loved and accepted at REACH.
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- Nulla consequat massa quis enim.
- Donec pede justo, fringilla vel, aliquet nec, vulputate eget, arcu.
- In enim justo, rhoncus ut, imperdiet a, venenatis vitae, justo.
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