New Friends with HIV that Immediately Feel like Old Friends
By Pam Wenz, REACH Director of Family Services
In April, REACH did an intake phone call with “Lisa,” and she attended support groups on Zoom off and on in 2025, but with limited talking or sharing of her video. When 2026 arrived, Lisa had still never met any REACH staff or participants in the flesh. I suggested we should use Presidents Day to get together — I said I could pick her up and together we could drive to meet up with two other REACH women in her area. She was eager for this to happen.
Once the four of us were settled in the apartment kitchen, setting out snacks, coffee, and tea… I saw the power of how much people trust REACH. For the first hour I could barely get a word in edgewise with these three as they shared stories, backgrounds, experiences, foods, faiths… In passing, the topic of Acceptance* came up.
Once we were cozily settled on couches, I found a gap in the conversation and asked the women if they’d be willing to take turns sharing with one another how they were able to come to a place of acceptance with their HIV. Lisa shared first. Her answer wandered to many painful places in her life story, but never quite touched on Acceptance. When she was done, I said, “It sounds like you are still on your journey toward acceptance.” She nodded that this was true. Her new friends shared next, showing vulnerability as they described their journey toward acceptance.
At the end of our gathering, Lisa asked for the other women’s phone numbers, which they readily provided.
For the first time, she experienced the level of safety she needed to talk about her status.
For the first time, she has personal friendships with people who understand life with HIV.
*Acceptance is a common topic that people living with HIV reflect on. For many of them, the days following initial diagnosis of HIV is not characterized by acceptance of this new reality. Perhaps they feel denial, fear, panic, blame, or many other things. But acceptance usually comes more quietly. And quite a bit later.










